Lately...

I've been a little tired lately.
Been a long, long time since I posted about our girl, and so much is changing, it's not really all that funny! Kind of terrifying.
She eats solids and drinks about four bottles a day. Daycare feeds her breakfast, then bottle, lunch, then bottle and then a bottle in the afternoon and we feed her dinner and bottle.
She's still sleeping great and her personality is really showing. She's joyful and mostly just cantankerous when she's tired.
Her six-month doctor visit is on the 28th. I predict she weighs close to hmmmmmm...17 lbs?? We'll see.

Her first Christmas hasn't been as joyous as we'd hoped. We were without power for almost a week...Sunday to Thursday...and we still have not put up any decorations. I'm still trying to clean out the fridge and house and catch up on laundry and supplies. Been a tiring process. We are still hoping to get the tree decorated...stockings hung and maybe go drive through the Chickasha lights?

Either way, Christmas will be celebrated quietly at home with us, our sweet families and our Lily. That's all we need.

Back.

Billy left for work this morning and said, "Um, your daughter is sleeping on her stomach." Then he giggled (yep) and went to work.

I got up an hour and a half later and she certainly was asleep on her tummy. This is a first for her...we always put her down on her back. And lately, in her sleep, she's repositioned herself on her side, if that.

But today, sleeping...nay, SNORING on her front. Sigh. She's getting so big SOOOO FAST!

She's such a joy...such a gorgeous, sweet personality. I love how she loves.

This has nothing to do with this...but last night, I found a huge piece of platic in my Raisin Nut Bran! What the crap was THAT about?? It was the size of a lime!! CRAZY!!

Ears.

T-Day. We survived! We were supposed to travel to Kansas on Wednesday...but Lily was acting sick on Tuesday (as was I), so we both went to the doc on Wednesday morning - just to be safe.

Well, we were safe, alright! Lily has another ear infection and I have some sort of upper respiratory thing. I asked the doctor if we should still take Lily out of town for four days?
If you think it's worth the risk, he said.
Sigh. Billy did not think it was.
He wanted to be sure we got well, so we didn't go out of state. Lily and I got some very strong antibiotics and went to bed early on Wednesday night.
We did get invited to an in-state turkey dinner, for which we were very grateful. Especially since it didn't require as much driving and we had a place to crash when nap-time came. (Which we DID.) Lily seemed to feel good, which we were grateful for...and though I coughed my way through the weekend, I didn't get worse. WOO HOO!

Despite the messed up plans, I'm so grateful for what we have. Who knows what God was keeping us safe from by keeping us home? No one knows why things happen or why our plans get knocked aside when they don't coincide with His plans.

I'm just glad she's better. I'm glad the entire weekend was low-key and restful. I'm glad for doctors and medicine and for health insurance. I'm glad for impromptu invitations which meant we weren't stuck eating Micky D's on Thanksgiving. I'm glad for sweet family who understands that sometimes plans go awry. I'm very glad for family who understands when we just hide out in our little warm house.

I'm just plain thankful. Thank You!

She is huge.

I cannot believe how much she has grown. I cannot believe my cousin has not seen her yet.

Today I drove to Walmart at lunch and since her daycare was right there, I stopped. (I didn't have a planned stop there today because she had all the milk she needed! Woo hoo!)

When I picked her up, she immediately wrapped her little arms around my neck and planted her big fish mouth on my cheek and squealed. This is her new thing and I need to get Billy to take a picture of it.

"Love grows where my Lily Blue goes and nobody knows like me..."

Math sucks.

TO EVERYONE WHO CONTACTED US ABOUT OUR LACK OF MATHMATICAL INTELLIGENCE:

OUR APOLOGIES...APOLOGIES ALL AROUND!!

If you didn't already know, we're stupid. Stooooooo-PID.

Yesterday I posted that our Lily was about to be SIX months old.

Well, technically, I was going by my "baby birthday ticker" at the bottom of this page. Scroll down.

Yesterday, it said our baby was five months, three weeks and four days old. Which would make Lily Six months on Monday.

HOWEVER. When I looked at it this morning, SOMEONE (heh) entered the date wrong and if you scroll down now you'll see it is correct.

So, you guys were right.
We were wrong.
AGAIN.

I hope zombies eat your big, delicious brains!!
hee hee

Ickles.

Firsts are fun to see...except sickness.
We have our first cold/ear infection. It really doesn't seem to bother her, but when she can't breathe and she coughs, it bothers ME.

I asked the doctor about a hundred times, "Did I not feed her right?" "Should I have kept her inside?" "I had to supplement formula one day, was that wrong??"
I'm pretty sure he wanted to slap me. I wanted to slap me.

She likes the pink stuff medicine and takes it well. It's not affecting her eating at all...except she's not wanting to be spoon fed at all. She'll be fine.
After all, this is ONE of many ickle sickies.

Tigrrrrrrr!

Here's our "Tiger" Lily!
Thanks to SP for the costume! As you can see, I was graciously saved from having to suddenly grow a talent! YAY!

I love this picture of Lily...because like all of these pictures, it perfectly captures her "I really don't know what the heck is going on" face!

Halloween was very stressful for us. I guess it is for all parents of infants. But the traipsing around, showing her off became tiresome, FAST.
However, we did love seeing everyone and they loved seeing her.

Especially Andy Warhol:








Billy and I felt like very abusive parents, however, because after every visit, she promptly fell asleep in the car. *Sad Face*








Next year, we'll have a "trick or treat us" party so everyone can come see her.

Baby

Things are crazy...work is crazy...family is crazy (some of them)...I'm learning to balance. Somewhat.

Last weekend we had a beatiful impropmtu visit from Uncle Robbie and Aunt Catie.
Lily adores both of them, as you can see:














It was amazing to see them and we miss them already.

Lily apparently held her own bottle yesterday and fed herself at daycare.
She has a wonderful teacher, Jamie, who was sweet enough to take a picture of it for me.
Our girl is growing up.
SIGH!!

Penguin? Monkey? NOTHING?

I was going to make Lily's costume for All Hallow's Eve.
Problem: I don't do crafts. PERIOD.

SO...not sure what she'll be. I actually went to the craft department and looked at all that would be necessary to make the costume I had in mind. Guess what? They do NOT sell GOOGLY EYES in single-pair packages! If you want googly eyes? You gotta buy a package of 50! What the hell's that all about??

Lily woke up giggly and smiley this morning. She's not woken up like that for at least a week. She is a once in a lifetime baby...she's a treasure. (I just quoted something...what is it? heh)

By the way, yes I've been to walmart five times this week and NO I didn't buy batteries because I suck.

WILL BUY BATTERIES ASAP and will take PICTURES ASAP.
Uncle Robot and Aunt Catie Joe will all be here to see! Yay!!

Love,
Kimmer

Batteries Required?

Dammit. I have meant to get batteries for our digital camera for a WEEK and keep forgetting and I usually only remember when I'm at work, LIKE NOW, when I can't just run out and get the batteries but I can't make a note either b/c that will just get lost in the flush of paperwork already at my fingertips.
Run-on sentanced?
Whew.

Anyway, sorry the pics have been few and far between. Or just few.

I have been exhausted b/c some little girl hasn't been sleeping.
But she's feeling OH SO MUCH better. She is almost back to normal. She's even started squealing and talking again. I cannot WAIT til the holidays so family can see how much she has grown and hear her chatting.

I have to actually go work now. Wow.

Koff, koff...

Lily is feeling much better, but still has a cough.
She was at daycare all day yesterday and besides a little more snot than normal, they said she did very, very well.

Billy and I agree that she's still not "herself" yet...not as smiley and silly, but anything's better than the red-rimmed eye'd baby we had last weekend.

A big thanks to Uncle Collin who solo-shopped for his niece and picked out awesome clothes for her. WE love you!!

What you see here is a picture of our precious Lily and her Daddy. Both are lookin' DOPE what with the stripes, backwards cap and dramatic lighting.

However, what tale this picture does not tell is that Lily is sick in this picture.
*enter frowny face*

Our big girl got her four-month Well-baby check up last Thursday, which, sadly, meant vaccinations.
FOUR big shots and her oral rotovirus immunization.
DAMN. I sucked. Big fat sucked all over the place.
She cried and cried and then, once stuck and bugs-bunny-bandaged-up, looked tearfully and her daddy and me as if to say:
YOU WERE JUST STANDING THERE THE WHOLE TIME THIS FRICKIN LADY STUCK ME FOUR TIMES!!! WHAT THE EFF IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHAT KIND OF PARENTS ARE YOU?

I feebly attempted to soothe her with some soft words, cuddles and a breast. She was fine.

Last time she got shots, she had a fever and threw up quite a bit. She was also rather sleepy and that was it.

Rather different this time around, I'd say.
I took off on Friday, tentatively, hoping that maybe she'd be fine and rearin' to go to daycare come morning.
Friday, she woke up with green snot and a horrible cough.
She DID sleep all day, but every time she ate, YURK. Half came back to us.

In a nutshell, (too late), she's still sick. She didn't sleep well last night, is still feverish and still has a bit of a cough.

I took her to the urgent care clinic on Friday night {note: by the way, why is it that whatever urgent care place you go to, you happen to go to the one which does NOT accept your insurance??} and the doctor didn't seem too bothered by her cough and gave us some medicine. But she still coughs and is still feverish. At least she is keeping the food down now.

I have literally never stressed so hard over anything in my life.
And this is only sickness number ONE.
Gyah.

Fall, ya'll!

So far, I've seen two tress here in Okietown that are beginning to put on the fall fare. I love Fall. I forget all year long just how MUCH I love it...then it comes around again, Thank God. Of course, according to Nobel Prize Winner, Al Gore, Global Warming will fix all that Fall jazz. Thanks, Al.

The stomach virus grabbed me last weekend and made me it's hooker. Then forgot to pay. It was NOT cool. I was in bed w/out food or water for about a day. Yes, yes...just a day, but STILL. Stinky part was that without food and water, my body cut way back on the milk production. So, I'm behind her by one meal. BUT two good things: at least I CAN feed her AND hopefully by next week, she'll be eating baby cereal!!! Such a big girl!!

Lily finally got to meet her other Great Grampa last weekend. When she was born, he was recovering from cancer surgery at 85 years old. And then we got busy, right? Ha. Anyway, here's Lily (Or "Lil" as he calls her) and her GGpa:



She gave him kisses:



All around, they just got on great:



My grandma had already met Lily, but was over the moon to see her again:



I really don't see Grandma enough. She looks amazing here. I love her. I love them both!

Lily is progressing wonderfully. She has started to tip to the side sometimes when on her back. She drools like a madwoman and constantly sucks on her fingers, her paci, her monkey or blanket...we think she's "pre-teething". WHEE!



Next week is her four month, Well-Baby check up. That means (dear LORD) more shots! Again: whee. However, Billy and I are looking forward to the doctor saying, "...and she's old enough to start her on baby cereal..."
The teachers at daycare tell me that when the other babies in her class are fed baby food, she perks up and watches intently. We're very excited for this milestone.



As you can see, she is just growing and growing and is perfect in every way. I miss her right now as I type...of course, because of the "milk shortage" I see her several times a day as I deliver milk to her daycare!

You know...I drop her off at daycare five days a week.
I do fine taking her in.
I do fine putting her in another person's arms or laying her in a crib.
I even do fine walking out the door.

But when I get in the car, look in the rearview mirror and see that empty car seat: that's when I am not doing as well. That's when my praying begins.

So little time...

(*Edit* 10/3/07 I've been trying to get this blog up for days...and cannot add pics or video for some reason. But here's the update, just the same. I'll try to be better about more blogging.)

With Government year-end, growing girl and hard-working Daddy...we've little time for much else. Plus Billy and I both caught a cold. Weeee!

Here's the latest, in a small, tidy nutshell:

Lily's passed her 3-mo. bday. She is just getting so big and is so smart. Here is a list of some things that she can do now:
-Roll from front to back.
-Grab, hold, play with and chew the toy she likes. (Right now, her monkey from Unk Robbie and Aunt Catie is her fave.)
-Talk and mock Mama and Daddy when they make noises at me.
-Spend time alone without needing entertainment or company. Also known at Big Girl Time. (We put her in her bassinet or crib and leave her in there, while working in the same room, or cleaning and she'll listen to music, talk to herself or play with a toy quietly.)
-Smile a lot. Coo, squeal and screetch while playing with Mama and Daddy.

She is doing GREAT with sleep. Daycare keeps her up most of the day and they play and do crafts, etc. So she comes home pleasantly exercised and sleeps through the night on most nights. (Notice I said MOST nights.)

She is gorgeous and a joy and my life is perfect with her. I'm humbled and so very Thankful for my family.
Kim
XOXO

Long time no post!

I am currently about to get into a bible study called "Living a Balanced Life" because DUDE I have no idea what that is.

Between work and Lily and Billy and dog and house and yoga and sleep and cleaning bottles? I don't have time. So, thus - there's my excuse for lack of blog.

We had a wonderful visit last weekend from Aunt Catie and Uncle Robbie!! Can you say, KICKASS FAIR FUN WITH THE KNIGHTS?



It was chilly!






Thanks Aunt Catie for helping take care of me and being on pacifier duty!










We had great fun with everyone and it was just wonderfully awesome.
We miss Robbie and Catie already.
Kim

Goat!

Long weekend.

Inadvertantly, our lil fam has a three-day weekend. We found out that Billy has Monday off. YESSS. Thank God for Tinker AFB. (No, he just delivers out there.)

Thanks to those who are voting my movie quotes quiz. You score extra points if you can name all the movies too. If not, you stink.

Lily has done really well this week. She is showing signs of great independence and has been talking and laughing all week. She is growing WAY too fast for me.
I'm suddenly and sadly jealous of all stay-at-home moms.

I miss Lily every day we're apart...all day long.

We will truly make the most of our weekend. May I not take any of it for granted.

Better

Gassy as she is, we're all doing much, much better. She seemed to feel well...she ate well...and around 8:30, we both fell asleep. She woke up for a short time and daddy was able to get her back down and she didn't waken again until almost 1 a.m.!!
Sure she was starving, but it didn't take long to get her back down and we slept til seven.

So, WHEW. I've done lots of reading about baby gas and colic so at least we feel more prepared for the next time.
AND I've decided that if she's not feverish, vomiting or listless, I won't get SO upset. After all, babies DO cry, don't they.

On a totally different subject:
Can anyone tell me why I suddenly have these dry, red pimples all over my body? Yuk.

For fun: What the HELL?

Full story: Diaperless babies, crazy parents.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20464264/from/ET/

Panic Level One

I have still not recovered from last night's mini-scare.

She laughed for me yesterday. I was sitting in the parking lot of the daycare after work - in the backseat with Lily - and we were playing! She laughed! It was the best thing ever!

The SECOND I pulled out of the parking lot, she began to scream. And I mean SCREAM...not cry, not fuss, but full-on, blue in the face, scare the hell out of mama SCREEEEEAM.

And me without her pacifier.

So, I pull into the shady parking lot of a gas station. I hold and rock her...let her suck my fingers...Nope.

I was still in Edmond where I work at this point, so I drive to my office and take us (with a full bottle of milk) inside and into the empty, dark conference room where I try to feed her, rock her, dance with her.
Nope. We both just cry and cry.

Ten til 6, she seems slightly soothed so I dash out to the car, pack us in and drive home as fast as I can get us there. The screaming stops only when she has passed out.
Poor baby girl.

I get home and the screaming begins again and for an hour, Billy and I play "Pass the Crazy Baby" back and forth, looking at each other saying, WHAT THE HELL DO WE DO? with our eyes. I keep on crying.

I consult the baby book. I change her diaper. I feed her by bottle. I feed her by breast. I burp her. Daddy dances with her. He holds her and cradles her. We try her swing. We try her bouncy seat.

Believe it or not. Laying her in her crib on her back, rubbing her all over was the key. At least it was yesterday.

By 8:00 last night she finally goes to sleep and we get to eat Taco Bell.

And the reason I've not recovered is because she is ALL I can think about and this is a part of that whole failure crud I mentioned yesterday.

She could be colicky...or sick...earache?...but no fever...what if she just had a bad day at school?...what if it's something really, REALLY wrong?

Then this morning, she threw up all of her breakfast.

Great, now I can't be consoled. :)
Actually, I can:


Psalm 56:3 What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.

Sigh.

A big fat F.

I wish someone had said, amongst the many pieces of advice and information they offered:

"Oh and by the way...you will feel like a failure. A lot."

Great.

I love to hate you, boobs!!

Eating is the new hobby.
Sure I gross myself out, but I can't seem to stop. It's not just eating...it's eating SWEETS. I can eat a normal meal...but afterward I have an insane craving for cake, cookies, brownies, sweet cereal...whatever I can find. And it really is almost all the time.

Also, I literally don't know what to do with these new boobs of mine. I've never had a large chest and now that it's substantially larger, I don't know how to take care of it. I won't wear a nursing bra - very bulky. And I was wearing just a little tank bra for awhile, but now the girls are sinking south. But the magazines said that wouldn't happen!!
Liars.

I showcased them in a low-cut top by complete accident the other day. I just put on a v-neck I've had for awhile and it was like I had just bought a brand new shirt. Looked totally different.
Honestly? I don't care for it.

I mean, I love, love, love nursing my Lily. Nothing in the world like it.
But the engorgement, the leaking, the clothes I can no longer wear, the pumping. Annoying as heck...





but worth EVERY second.

Eleven, Twelve.

Alrighty. No one reads this. HA HA HA! I have not substantiated my exsistence in this world! No one reads my blog so I'm worthless!! HAHAHAHAHAAAA Well, either no one reads this or not one wants to participate in my 'tarded poll on PBJB&CS sammiches.

I took babygirl to a different doctor today...see, our doc does not administer the rotovirus vaccinations at their office. AND it costs $85 a pop (She needs three in six months) and isn't covered my insurance unless you go through a doctor.

SO, we took her to Dr. Campbell.

That stinker now weighs ELEVEN POUNDS, TWELVE OUNCES.
Go ahead! Call her Fatty McFatstuff! :)

She is doing so well...she is so healthy and he said she looks very good. He was happy to be the doctor to give her the vaccine and was wonderful and gentle with her. I think we may have found a new doctor. But he's kind of far from the house. I don't know which would be better...have the doc close to daycare? Or to home?

Everyone in our neighborhood had phone outtages this past weekend, so I wasn't able to get the zoo pictures up yet. They're coming, I swear.

Nothing else going on, except intense joy every day with our family. Oh and very little sleep. That's not new.

HOT HOT HOT

The temps in OKC this week have been at the 101 to 103 degrees level.

I'm incredibly amused that the newscast lady and the weather guy on the morning news have a running bet: you cannot use the word "hot" during the morning news.
IF one of them accidentally says the word "hot" they have to put a buck in the "hot" jar. This is hilarious to watch because HOW can a weather man, describing an ongoing and also dissipating heatwave, NOT say the word "HOT"?? Furthermore, he cannot use extended "hot" words, such as, "Today was the HOTTEST day of the week..." BWAHAHAHAAA Poor weather dude.

Sniffle. I have caught a summer cold.


SUCK. Upper resperatory or something. I actually feel much better today...but a couple of days I thought I might not make it! Especially with Lilygirl up all night. Good thing is that I finally got around to writing my baby thank-yous from two months ago...in the waiting room. Late is better than not at all.

Work is becoming annoying because of drama...and gossip. People are mad I took so much "time off" for my pneumonia and maternity leave. Yes, they are still mad.
Whatever!

Lily had her first vomit-o-rama on us last night. We went to daycare to get her and the first thing we hear is: "She had diarrhea." Great. We get home and it's all good and I feed her lots and she seems fine. Then whupsie...it all comes out and up and over. It was LOTS and everywhere. I don't mean to make anyone ill, but I was terrified. Utterly. I usually know what to do and really, I did know what to do, but it was insane how scared I got.

My little brother, when he was a month old, had a condition where he could not digest food. It was some muscle thing and they had to do surgery on him - a month old. That was all I could think of.

Now she didn't have a fever..she and I stayed up all night so that I could feed her tiny meals in short time spurts. She acted fine...and she seems fine today. I've called to check on her and she's eaten and played. Whew. Hope that's it for now. I will deal w/ Full Blown Virus when he arrives, but please, Lord...not now. A little older, please.

I think we might try a zoo trip tomorrow, if she's up for it. So, that will create some interesting pics, eh?

Tomorrow won't be so HOT! :)

Feeding Her.

For the first time, I went to see Lily at daycare during the day.
It was quite unsettling. No need to give details.
So I leave after feeding her a bottle and bawl in the Walmart parking lot.

The urge to yank her out of daycare, quit my job and become a F/T Mama is great, if not desperately overwhelming.

This has made me cranky.

So, less about me, more about precious lil girl.

Every day with her is perfect, awesome, wonderful. I like missing her and LOVE picking her up. I get antsy around 4...I itch to get on the road to her. We have mama/Lily conversations all the way home. Usually pretty one-sided, but I crave this time with her...as I do our bath time. Our bathtub is not only deep but it's inclined, so washing her in the tub isn't an option.
SO, we take our baths together. She loves the water. We'll sit there together and wash and splash and she usually coos and talks.

I have a slight summer cold right now which sucks...and it's so hot for Billy as he works his long hours.

Here are a couple of photos for the road:




Oh she sure loves her daddy.

Slacking is the new Working!

I feel like I work so much on the weekends, that I come to work and want to slack off. Oh yeah, I'm at WORK. TO WOOOORK.

Also, FAT is the new skinny. The carbs have found me and forced me to join their ruffian gang of starchy n'er-do-wells! AVAST!! Ok, actually I found the carbs, put them in my mouth, savored and swallered. Then repeated - a LOT.

I believe I've mentioned the Walmart cookies...their in your walmart cookie aisle and it's the walmart brand. So friggin awesome. Billy literally had to ban his wife from cookies. Then he keeps awesome sweet cereal around the house - like Golden Grahams. And THEN he wants baked goods for his breakfast...so I bake brownies for him (me) and muffins for him (me) and cake for him (me).

In other words, I have a self-discipline problem. And now, a weight problem.

I wish I had fun news about Lily but nothing really new. We already know what I am re-affirmed of daily: that she is precious and perfect in every conceivable way.

More pics are coming just because I took more but keep forgetting to bring my camera to work. Where I WORK. I'm working now, right?

Love,
KK

Surviving so far!

Day one of daycare went very well for both Mama and Lilygirl! I really like her daycare; all the workers up there really fuss over Lily and just talk to her. Even those who are not her teachers. Her head teacher is awesome, too. Very sweet. She hugs me in the morning when I drop her off and always invites me to come by and visit. (Not gonna happen...how could I leave her TWICE in one day??)

Here is her "first day of daycare" picture:



She didn't come home in that outfit though. Why not? Poop.

The evening after day one was pretty frustrating. She was exhausted but would not go down for anything. Lots of crying...some screaming. I believe she was just overwhelmed at the crazy day she had.

However, when she did finally go down? She slept for three and a half hours, ate for about 10 minutes then down for another FIVE hours!! WOO HOO!

Unfortunately, Day TWO of daycare was easier on her, but harder on us. She slept nearly all day yesterday, most of yesterday evening but then wouldn't go down at all last night. It was a long night for Mama and Lily...and then Daddy took a shift an hour before he had to get up for work. (THANK YOU)

I'm praying that today, Day three, will be good for her...lots of play time and time with the teachers.

I had the sweetest email from an aunt this morning. She told me that she had a great daycare experience with her daughters when she had to work. She comforted me with that (thank you so much) and made sure I knew that it was okay to miss her lots and that I'd be so very happy to see her when I got off work.

Funny, I haven't really had a real crying episode when I drop her off at daycare.

Now, when I leave her to go pick her up?? I don't know how else to explain it, but it's utter desperation to get there faster. I really can't get there fast enough. And when I get her in my hands, I am (so far) on the verge of tears. I guess I just can't believe how much I miss her.

Wouldn't YOU miss this??



Chances are if you're reading this? You already do.

Composed.

Ok, I've gathered my wits about me so that I can list some PROS, not cons, about today:

1. I feel like me...not just some vending machine for baby. And I look like me. No more PJ's or sweats. I'm wearing real person dressy clothes and LIPSTICK.
2. Miss Deb, Lily's teacher at daycare, RULES. Not only did she wrap her arms around Lily first thing we walked in, but she HUGGED ME as I left and promised me that it was all going to be alright.
3. My job allows me to pump my milk any time I want. PLUS no one is pressuring me to work very hard...there is SO MUCH TO DO! Yay job! (Thank You, God for my employer.)
4. My friend, Stephanie...without her here today, I'd go bonkers. She is there to listen about my fears, but is not mentioning Lily every two seconds...which is quite a feat for her!

and here are some pics just for grins:


"Aunt" Shanna made this for Lily. I cried when she gave it to us. This is a quilt made of Billy's old skate shirts. Billy wore these shirts all the time when we were dating.


Here are some B&W's that daddy took:







And she's just chillin...



Ok, I can't take any more. Back to work. NO CRYING.

P.S. There is a new "lilypie" ticker at the bottom of the page. Now you all know how old she is today!

Returned

I am back at work today for the first day since giving birth to our gorgeous daughter.

I SPECIFICALLY put non-waterproof mascara on this morning so I wouldn't cry all day. Still, I can't promise anything.

It's my deepest hope that work will be so overwhelmingly busy that I won't have time to think about how she is without me and wondering where I am.

Well, hell. THAT didn't work, did it?

Crap.

I'll write later after I clean this damned mascara off my face.

Highway robbery.

I love my daughter...I love that we have her and she is perfect.



But I have to admit, the after-baby blues are robbing me (or I am allowing myself to be robbed) of the joy of this time. Someone asked me today if I was just happy as can be and having so much fun?

I had to honestly answer, "Well, no...not so much."

And then I burst into tears. Crap.

I cry nearly 4 times a day...most of which are not spawned from any incident or kicked off by anything. I just suddenly sob and sob and then once it's over, I move on.

Lily is gorgeous. Everyone wants to be near her and love her. I adore that...I feel like she has some sort of magical power to heal hearts...there is just so much love in her.

I'm putting some photos on here so that the joy of her will be for you, whether or not I'm as joyful. This too shall pass. God keeps His promises. I'm just waiting. O Let me learn patience. :)

And for my NEXT trick...

This is not new news to ANYONE reading this, but even I cannot wrap my mind around this:
She is HERE.
I hold her close, I breastfeed her (and she excels in that), I sing and talk to her...rock her, swing her, change her. Sigh...I'm so so so in love with her.

I have also, if you can believe this, fallen in love with my husband again.


Or deeper. Or more. After all of this, he has scored points above and beyond.
Here's our lil story:

June 16th, our due date, came and went. Father's day was a sleep late day for us...and we loved it. Woke up around 10:30 and began discussing just exactly what breakfast should entail. We decided breakfast would consist of lunch. Billy dressed while I, all huge and pregnant, went to wee wee. So I waddle-waddled to the bathroom and wee-wee'd then I wipey-wiped and then...
saw blood. Not a LOT...just pink on the tissue...and it shared the space with a little brown. Ummmmm, ooookaaaay...

I yelled for Billy, told him what I saw then told him to go to Sonic and get me a burger. :) He said, "Well, don't you think you should call the hospital first? Or at least call Shelli and ask what she thinks?"

"Nooo, we are HUNGRY...GO! FOOD! NOW! Please?"

By this time, it was close to 11. AND there is a trickle of liquid and I've stapled a maxi pad into my sweats. (Yeah, THAT'll do it.) So, I call the nurses' station at Deaconess and the nurse just says to come on in.
"Better safe than sorry" she says. "We'll just send you home again if it's false labor again."

Now, I've read many-a book about labor and false labor, etc. This was not 'false labor' and based on what I'd read, a trickle of liquid usually means it's "Time" but also that you probably have all kinds of time before Labor really begins.

So, I get my Sonic burger and we pack up the car and head up to Deaconess.
It's almost Noon.

In the car, at Noon O Two, on 50th and close to the hospital:

I suddenly feel as though I'd been hosed down with very, very warm water and I begin to scream "OMYGODOMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOOOOOOD...." all while I'm laughing hysterically and maybe crying a little.
It was about there I knew my membranes had ruptured and HEY we're not quite as far off as we thought!

We waddled into the ER (on a Sunday, the only friggin door OPEN) and by this time my sweat pants are drenched and sticky and dear GOD it was so weird. (Yes, we had placed a towel underneath me in the car...I know, GROSS, right? The towel has disappeared since our trip.) Deaconess' ER is very understaffed, but we got a drippy pad thingy and a wheelchair and we get on upstairs.

Now from here, it gets boring. Because we check in at close to 12:15 in the afternoon and it's a lot of waiting. This blog has already gone on forever, so here's the DL...

I go into a steady labor around 1:45...When I'm dialated to a 4, I get my epidural. WHEEE. It wasn't so bad, just hard on me because I was into a hard contraction RIGHT when they were sticking me.

(me, in labor)


By the time we're all set up in the stirrups we had a plethera of people waiting for us to birth our baby for them: We had Granny, Paula, Mom, Aunt Sherry and Uncle Mark, their son, my sweet Austin...My dad and Collin. Friends Shelli, Shanna, Emily and Tyrone, Jeremy and his little girl, Ella. This little group literally partied til we were done! I am not kidding. I heard there was a sing along and PIZZA involved! LUCKIES.


Around 11 p.m. I get to push. Lots of pushing.
Here's where I praise Billy the most. It was Doc, Nurse and me and Billy. Doc in the "catching zone" and Nurse and Billy flanking me to hold my legs and cheer me on. That PRECIOUS Groom of mine was instructed to help lift my legs and push me forward to assist my pushing. Not ONLY did he hop right on board, but he whispered constant praise and encouragement in my ear. He also kept reminding me to breathe deeply, like my Yoga. He also kept thanking me for doing this for us. YOU try to resist that man. I was quite randy for him right then and there. Ha. (I was actually randy for him all day. PREGNANCY and LABOR ARE WEIRD.

So, I pushed.
Doc kept telling me "Good Job" but her face was unsettled that I could see.
She said I could get another Epidural and we could keep pushing but that I'd made NO progress in an hour and she couldn't see any progress in my future. And I was feeling the contractions again. DUDE. Doc gave me the option. Keep pushing? Or:

SEE SECSHUN!! (We later learned that Lily's cord was too short to allow a vaginal birth. She bungee'd back upstairs with every push.)

I chose the C-Section. No more pushing, no waiting. Quickly I was wheeled to the OR. Another Doc sees that my epidural has come out so it's my luck to get to have another one! They lay me down, Billy finally arrives and they cut me open.
They put lots of pressure on my ribs...we hear lots of suctioning (there was meconium in the womb) then there it was...small, squeaky and glorious.
Our daughter was crying.

Billy was called to Lily's side so that he could snap pictures of her first moments in our family. And of course THAT is exactly when my violent shakes started. I shook so hard that I could hear rattling from the metal table beneath me. The nurse invited Billy to leave and help bathe his daughter. Nothing in the world would have had me ask him to miss that. I wanted him to be there. Which left me in the O.R. alone with my shakes and oncoming panic attack.

So, eternity passed by and I was finally wheeled down the hall, towards my room and past the nursery, where all our family and friends were admiring the "handywork" of Billy and Kim Knight. I was in such pain and the shakes had become so bad that I couldn't even open my eyes. But I could (just barely) mutter the word "Mama..." as I was whisked by the group.

Only my Mama didn't hear. But everyone else did! "Sandi, your daughter is calling you!" "Mom, Kimmer just hollered for you..." "Mom! (from my best friend) Go! Kim needs you!"
Dear Lord, did I need her. She came right in, saw what was going on, and knew my coach was absent for the moment...so she talked me down and coached my Yoga breathing and held my hand. The shakes subsided. Then were gone.
This was intensely beautiful to me. It was almost like a re-bonding between us. My mama was there for me again, as always as I had just given birth to my own daughter. Looking back on it, I can almost say it was my favorite part of this entire ordeal.

Until, that is, I was introduced to oxicodene! WOOOOHOOOO!


I seriously bless the pain meds. I am one of those who do not function while in pain. Aaaaahhhh.

ACT II:

My sweet mama knew that at that point, we were done. She kindly went out to all the waiting loved ones and told them about my shakes and ordeal and told everyone to go home. (You don't gots to go home but you cain't stay here!)

Though the next couple of days would be pandamonium with all the visitors, I was still grateful to each person. When asked to leave, they just left, no problems. (I was SO surprised.) This gave us a moment. I wanted to finally meet my daughter. I wanted to hold and be held by my husband. I wanted to see if my dreams - my deepest desires were in fact, coming to life.

Well, here: Do I LOOK happy?


She was/is the most gorgeous baby I'd seen.

If I had been given an order form...and the Lord my God had said, "Ok, Kim...what, exactly do you want in a husband? OH and the second form is for what you want in a child..."

and I could have custom ordered my new family, there is no way I would have received all I needed.

God is so precise in meeting our needs. He knew I needed a strong man, a funny, sensitive, fearless man. Yet a man who was a total dork and willing to play games.

I dreamed of a perfect family...a perfect life. And I am still constantly shocked at the things I never even asked for and yet I have them.

Now, I hope you don't think I'm being snotty or bragging (Laaah Dee Dah I have it all and YOU do NOT...nyah, nyah...") because I am daily overwhelmed at the blessings. I also pray that God gives me a serving heart and that I can give joy ten-fold the way He has given to us.

Anyway, back to the story. I swear it's almost over.

I have my beloved family. We have our Lily Blue.



We went into the hospital on Father's day; came home on 6/21/07. Breastfeeding going awesome...No sleep. By the way, it's 6/25/07, 7:14 a.m. and I've not been to bed. Typical, right?

Here are some random pics of some not so random folks. The last one I'm posting for a certain aunt who will enjoy it.

That's all from here. I'm going to bed (couch) and praying for three straight hours. PLEEEEEEASE.

Love,
Kimmer, Billy & Lily.

False.

Slept like the dead last night, rear-to-rear with my precious husband. Our Sebastian was nestled between us, so relieved that we were home and together and all in the bed. We had scared him, for certain. Late-night, spontaneous grab and dash freaked out the poor lil poodle.

See, we had a 'false alarm' last night which resulted in about two hours in the hospital. My "plug" became dislodged and then several times last night I had leaking fluid. Well, I read THREE different things that indicated that was my "water" and that it had "broken."

Nope.

While the staff at Deaconess was pleasant and the experience was not horrible, I cried and cried because I really did think that was it. I really, really did. All the way to the hospital (which could not been a drive of more than three minutes) the anxiety hit and I started shaking and could not slow my breathing. So, to find out that we will, indeed, have to make that drive AGAIN? And the disappointment was rather overwhelming. Last night I took a long look at Lily's bassinet before we walked out the door and couldn't help but be thrilled that she would be occupying it very soon.

Regardless of the evening's events, as I said before, Billy and I both slept hard. It was like the Lord is giving us a very big break and telling us, "Rest up, kids...she's coming and you NEED the rest."

There is nothing wrong with having a "dry run" to the hospital...and as bad as I felt about bothering the nurses and keeping us out late, I do feel slightly more prepared...and a little, tiny bit relieved. I have another day...or hour...or five minutes to hold her inside of me and share our secret little experience together before I have to share her with the world. Because sadly, my daughter and I will never, ever be this close again...and I will miss her dearly when she departs from me.

We have one day until our due date.
And despite the waiting, the aching and the discomfort...
I feel really good today. And am thankful to have it.

Love,
Kimmer

Short.

Doc appt yesterday...nothing's changed. We did get to see her on ultrasound...lots of amniotic fluid, so she's not in any danger at the moment.

Everything is tight, sore, bloated, cranky. Today it is raining a LOT so no pool today. Crapola.

I have a weird kink in my back this morning...probably because I didn't sleep well and was up a lot.

Hormones or something going crazy because I am not just cranky but rather vicious. My sweet, sweet husband misplaced my keys last night and I didn't realize til I was already LATE. Gyarr.

I hate these jeans.

People keep asking me how I'm feeling. I guess my face just doesn't show it, which is good. I just keep saying, "Fine, fine..." and waddle away, grunting.

I usually love the rain...usually love the busyness.
Usually. Nothing usual about today, is there?

Ok, back to my playing games online and to my Diet Dr. Pepper.

Flamin Hot Cheetos

Everyone has a story, some advice or just plain old information about pregnancy. (I've also heard this true regarding child raising.)

However, this is the part that NO ONE has talked about. The End.
So, right now no one can tell me if I am normal or literally going crazy. When we found out we were pregnant, it was because I'd gone to the doctor to have her up my depression meds. Turns out, my feelings of constant insanity were because OOPS WE'RE PREGGO!

So, now that I am still preggo, am I feeling insane b/c it's almost over? Or am I REALLY insane and it's just now peeking out b/c it's almost over? Quandry!
I know I'm pregnant and uncomfortable and cranky. But I'm SERIOUSLY looking for a fight. I fought with my credit union yesterday. Jerks. I might have had a teeny bit of road rage yesterday. Yeah, yeah...I KNOW. Then today, I realized that my birth and delivery might stir up some drama. So, I'm already ready for THAT fight.

This is SO STUPID! Why am I wearing myself out with this?? STOOPID! I am probably delaying my own labor and delivery because of my stress.

I know the world isn't fair. The world is weird and fulla jerks.
And I pray for Grace and you know what? Some days, like today (and yesterday...and maybe all last week), I do not have the heart or sensitivity to love the unlovable, pray for the lost, or smile at that guy that just cut me off in traffic when he SAW THAT I WAS TRYING TO GET OVER BECAUSE OF A WRECK AND HE STILL CUT ME OFF..JACKASS...

I guess I'm just human, huh?

Well, my Flamin Hot Cheetos are gone and my index fingers and thumbs are bright red and that will NEVER come off. :)

Ok, back to just being bloated. Nope, Cheetos won't help that at all.

Kimmer

Single Digits.

Eight days til the actual "due date" which is funny because who was it that one day said, "Ok, it takes THIS many days for this baby to be cooked"??

She'll get here when she's ready...maybe.

Our doctor appointment yesterday was a great disappointment. We weren't in the room 5 min, one hand up the ol' Whoo Haah and she said, "Yep...there's the head." Yeah, we already knew that.

I said, "And that's it?"
"Yep," she said. "Same as last week." DANG.

I know that God's timing is perfect...always. I should be thankful to have more days to prepare and exersize and rest. I should be. But last night I was not so thankful. More bitter. Huh.

Now I'm not just uncomfy, but very cranky too. AND if some other jackass comes into my office and says, "WHOOOA, you ain't popped yet?" I will take them out.

I do hope to have better or at least more cheerful news tomorrow.

OH WAIT...the nurse said I've lost two pounds this week? HA. I have NO idea what that means.

Ok, that's all for now.

Love YA'LL! (this was for ONE person only!)
Kimmer

Weird Day!!

After days and days of hurting and being uncomfy and just plain BLAH:

I FEEL AWESOME TODAY! WOO HOO! THANK YOU JESUS!

I slept great! I have all this insane energy! I literally want to go dancing.
I'm in the best mood and my body feels almost normal, except for the bloated feet. Heh.
I'm also very, very hungry today (two Jimmy Dean frozen omlets) and quite graphically, my digestive system is working overtime: three days and about 30 BM's. NORMAL BM's. Gross, but weird.

But it's a weird, weird, but awesome day. I'm very thankful but also very curious.
What the hell is going on? Ha!

Could this MEAN something? Eh...probably not! hee hee

Two insults and some braxton hicks later....

I almost did it. I almost made it the ENTIRE pregnancy without a complete and total stranger either insulting me OR touching me unsolicited. ALMOST.

First, Office Depot. Young sales guy. Comes up and says, "WHOA...you havin' TWINS???" Time to teach. Me: "No...and you're RUDE." Him: (completely SHOCKED) "I WAS? Really? I was just trying to be funny..." The look on his face was SO sincere and shockingly sorrowful, I was really nice and explained that NEVER does a woman want to be construed as BIG when she is already thus. He apologized several more times. Taught.

Then, Walmart. (I know, my fault for going there in the first place.) I was looking for Louisiana Hot Sauce. There is not a sign in grocery for such an item or any other hot sauce. SUDDENLY, there is a woman in front of me:
"It's a BOY, isn't it? I know it's a boy!!"
Me: "Ummm...no..."
Her: "Oh, well I carried THREE boys just like you're carrying now..." THEN SHE REACHES RIGHT OUT AND GRABS THE BABY BELLY. Nice. Yes, I backed up.
She went ON and on about her own pregnancies and folks, I had not previously, or ever talked to her, seen or or smiled at her. Just a random mugging, I guess! If this had not been my last stop and me SO bloated and exhausted I would have been more gracious. Not so, however. Too bad. My lack of enthusiasam and responses got across fast. Sigh!

Starting Sunday night, been "fist tummy" off and on. I assume these are Braxton Hicks Contractions...they don't HURT hurt, but everything is so tight that it's incredibly uncomfy. Especially when you're trying to get stuff done. Or just walk. Heh.

Other joys for now is that my hands and feet will randomly go numb. Wheeee!

AND the last baby shower took place last Sunday and the pictures literally make me look quite Jabba-ish. Which is fine...it goes with the territory...but DUDE...seriously.

Lily refuses to kick...all rolls and pokes now. I love it. I love sitting with my hand on my stomack and suddenly it gets pushed outward about two inches. I push her right back! Well, she has to learn!

Besides all that, it's all quite miserable and annoying and my temper and moods are short and cranky. Daddy Billy takes it all happily and in stride and you can SO tell he's ready for me to be done with it all.

ME TOO! Anyone want to make some bets as to whether or not I make it the next ELEVEN DAYS? Ha.

Love,
Kimmer

Check it...

No seriously...check it out...scroll to the bottom of the blog page and see the lil pink elephant (her name is Freida)...you see that? FIFTEEN DAYS. That's barely TWO WEEKS.

Had another weekly doc appt yesterday...everything still right on track...she continues to travel southward and my C. keeps on thinning...about 75% now. However, discomfort is becoming a real issue. Barely slept last night because my entire belly was rock hard and that area right under by boobage is on fire. Having a LOT of trouble walking today. Head in pelvis. (NOT meant as dirty as it sounds)

Great, GREAT news: Lily Blue is head down! Not unusual, no...but I was born breech - booty first! So, I was slightly concerned about that. Yay!

I guess right now is all a waiting game, huh? We're still preparing...more for the actual BIRTH itself, rather than the after when we actually get HOME with this new creature, look at each other and say, aloud: "What the HELL do we do now?"
We've loaded and charged both of our MP3 players and our portable DVD player. Packed my bag, arranged dog-sitting, made lists of things to buy this weekend like snacks and frozen food. And underwear...heh.

I'm very thankful that the hospital is literally 3 minutes from my house...that way if we DO forget something, someone can make a run. So, technically, it's not a big deal making all these plans.

Swimming is my obsession right now. It's rained almost every day since the pools opened, so I'm freaking out. I DID get to go yesterday before the dr. appt and it felt SOO good - except that someone thinks it's funny to add 100 pounds of ICE to the water, I guess. Coldest water ever. I went alone, which is good. Billy couldn't handle it, I promise.
Either way, we like to swim, Lily and I. I get excercise and SHE gets off my bladder for an hour. Aaaaaah. It's about to storm now, but maybe this afternoon? Hmmmmm.

Everyone keeps saying, "NO WAY you'll last til your due date..." and I'm starting to believe them. That's bad. It's making me a little impatient. Making US impatient. Billy calls me every day and asks me if I've had the baby yet. Yeah, I did...forgot to call and tell you, retard.

I love him. He is amazing. He rolls with EVERY single cranky thing I come up with. He's working on his new hobby, screenprinting...his first project will be printing a kickass sleeper for his daughter. This is HIS obsession. That and trying to SCARE the baby out of me. I'm not kidding.

But, as painful and cranky and overtly BLOATED I am, this is such a blessed, happy time. I cannot believe how absolutely grace-filled our lives are and I am so thankful.

Anyhoo, hopefully there will be no more posts b/c I will give birth in the next ten minutes. Let us pray. :)

Love,
Kimmer

Owwwwie! (or Poor Kimmer)

Ouch. I hurt a lot last night. Right under my breasts feels like someone is ripping tissue out with a rake. The doc said it was from Lily dropping...but at that time it only felt bruised...now it is sharp pain.
And my feet are bulging out of my flip flops.
It's raining here today so that means flip flops don't work wonderfully.
Tried to wear my slip ons to work...NOOOOOO.
I had to stuff my toes into them and scoot into the office. Then flip flops.
Sigh.

AND I'm starving. I had a Jimmy Dean frozen omlet this morning, a no-bake cookie (w/Splenda) and a banana. AND still hungry.

Did you see the pics in the previous post? Yeah. Maybe that girl was calling me fatty and was trying to be kind? Hah.

Not much longer now...17 days til due date. Maybe...JUST maybe, by God's grace and mercies (which are already ABUNDANT in our lives), we won't make it that long.

What did Carly say? Anticipaaaayaaaaation...

FATTY.

The next person who calls me "FATTY" will get punched. Especially if it, once more, comes from a WOMAN who has indeed BEEN PREGNANT. Are you friggin kidding me??

This happened not once but three times at our (Billy's) party shower this weekend (pictured here).
The party was SO lovely otherwise...so much loving and sweetness.
AND CAN YOU SEE ME BEHIND THAT BELLY? Hee hee! Actually, that is not a good shot...here:

This is me with our good buddy Riley Dover...yeah, we're watching The Little Mermaid together. Yay!

He was also a GREAT helper when it came to present-opening:



Gracious thanks to Brandon and Shanna for the badass cookout and party.

Now, let's get this show on the ROAD...I'm ready to pop this sweet girl OUT!!
OH and I went SWIMMING on Saturday!! I BRAVED A TWO PIECE AND WENT TO THE POOL BY MYSELF AND IT WAS FRICKIN THE BEST THING EVEEERRR!
I felt weightless...I could kick my feet and kind of stay afloat AND the water was SO cold and felt SO good on my poor sad, swollen feet.

But seriously...to any woman who is or will become preggo: GO SWIM. Go the nearest community college or city pool...the YMCA...WHEREVER. Go and you will feel NORMAL...until you get out, that is. Heh.

With less than three weeks to go, I am feeling good. Energetic and kind of overwhelmed. I don't feel like I have ANYTHING done yet, but GUESS WHAT? I packed my hospital bag! Well, kind of. I have yet to include a "going home" outfit for myself (my sweats are all dirty) ANNND we've not packed our MP3 players or DVD player yet. (Gotta charge 'em) Or any other entertainment. I hear we might need the UNO cards or something.

Regardless of all the good, the crankiness persists...I drop things (especially food) constantly and while bending and squatting isn't really a problem, I still don't want to do it.

We have one more baby shower to go...this one is being hosted by Billy's sweet church, Mayridge. Honestly? I'm just going for the cake! HA!

No...seriously!

See the bloated face? That's not from water, kids!!

Anyway, thanks for the love and support from the friends and family.
Kimmer & LilyBlue (And billy)

drop it like it's HAWT

She's dropped! (some) ANNND my cervix (lovely, I know) had thinned about 50%.
Dude, I believe this is GREAT news. We are actually progressing! Really! No, REALLY!

There's light at the end and the doc was very pleased that things are right on schedule.
Siiiiiigggghofrelief.

My precious husband and I have been heavily nesting...organizing then RE-organizing...buying and putting together furniture...washing a billion baby sheets, baby blankets, baby clothes...re-registering...making lists.

And yet, I've STILL not packed my hospital bag! I know why...all my bags are either REALLY big or really tiny or really old and grody. And I'm sorry, I think I should have a CUTE bag!! (pout) Also, until yesterday, it hadn't sunk it yet that YES INDEEDY SHE IS COMING SOON. Huh...kind of how I feel about the Saviour...sure, I KNOW he's coming soon...but maybe he should start dropping and give us a clue? Maybe then we'll straighten up? :)

Anywhoo...though this whole ride has not been all that fun, looking back a little makes me smile and giggle a little because of these things I am truly thankful for:

• I have not really had any back problems (thank you, God, for Yoga)
• I didn't have much of the sickies
• I almost always felt attractive and my husband was great at making me feel sexy
• MY HUSBAND. Dear God he's cute about it all.
• My job. Where else can you work, get really sick and they not only hold onto your job, they pay you and help you get disability THEN beg you to come back to work...only to overly party-hearty-marty when you DO return. THEN tell you how proud they are of you for coming to work in your 9th month. Seriously.
• Belly lotion. Not one stretch mark. NOT ONE.
• I have worn the same bra throughout the entire pregnancy. Yesssss.
• Spring pregnancy...only because buying WINTER preggo clothes would have been a fortune and no WAY would my fat, bloated feet fit into winter shoes. I've been flip-floppin' it for a month now.

So, we're on the way...and it's never seemed so surreal.

I can't wait!! I wanna kiss 'er!

Patience

Here we are! We're still here! After all this time! Yay!

After a rather miserable weekend, and TODAY I get back to work, my inbox has THIS devotional: "Developing Patience". Lord, are you KIDDING ME? ha.

I've never looked at pregnancy as anything but punishment, right? Eve took the fruit, and all women suffer!

But while for me, being pregnant has not been too much fun, being ill not once, but TWICE during has shown me several things that I never thought of:

-Pregnancy is not about me.
-If you're not patient, you'll sure learn to be by month 9.
-Don't overestimate yourself - sometimes you really can't carry all that laundry.
-Don't UNDERestimate yourself - Rest is good, but so is Yoga, walking and other fun stuff.
-Holy crap...my mom knows a LOT of stuff.
-It's okay to stay home and be with my family.

Well, those are a few things. After being out a month w/ pneumonia (and off work on disability) then coming back for a week, only to catch some kind of stomach bug last weekend and basically only eating four meals in four days AND missing my own baby shower...GYAH...I have to say I'm rather happy to see that this whole thing is winding down.

Honestly, this miracle in me is precious, but I'm ready to deal with her on the outside. I want to sleep on my back and stomach again. I want to be able to SEE what I'm shaving down there. I want Billy to carry her around for a change! :)

The generosity of friends and loved ones has literally been overwhelming. The Grace of God has been overwhelming as well. We've watched job changes, unexpectied finances and gifts come out way that has not only kept us afloat, but actually well above poverty while I was out.

Now that we're starting to get Lily's furnishings and clothes and goodies, everything is clicking...everything is less surreal, but REAL. She's really in there, really coming and REALLY gonna need us.

Which means...we need to sleep NOW while we can.

Thanks to everyone who supported us from afar.
Much love,
Kimmer & Lily.

stories and facts

Until now, "pregnancy brain" has not been a problem.
YET:

Yesterday, I began to do laundry...began with a large load of darks.
Came back 15 minutes later...began transferring to the dryer. They felt weird.
I had forgotten the detergent.
Reload. Wash. SIGH.

Went back another 15 min later: laundry, soap, water all in.
Lid to washer wide open.
Shut lid. Wash. SIIIIGH.

Finally get dark load into dryer while I wash load of jeans.
Dark clothes out of dryer and dry! YAY.
Put jeans in dryer and throw in dryer sheet...start another load of darks.

Come back 15 min later: Dark clothes washed. Jeans still in the same place.
Forgot to start dryer.
Put washed dark clothes on TOP of wet jeans.
Dry. SIIIIIIIGGGGGH!!
Then this morning, went out for pair of dried jeans.
LEFT garage without jeans. Had to go back for jeans second time.
Seriously...what is WRONG WITH ME?? Ha.

Story #2.
We went to church with Billy's granny on Sunday. Went to wee wee before the preaching. On the way to wee a lovely young woman stopped me and said, "I'm so sorry, but I have to touch you!" And she proceeded to put her hands on my belly.
Now, let me say that I've been repeatedly warned about strangers offering their opinions, if not their hands, to me and how annoying it is.
Well, it wasn't.
To be honest, only two people in my life delve into the joy of the belly rubbing: Billy (duh) and Shellbelle.
Now, not everyone is comfy touching others. But if you are, YOU SHOULD TRY IT!
This woman, Nicky, was so sweet and loving and just JOYFUL about this coming child, that it was just overwhelming.
I made her do it again after church!
Thus, at lunch with Billy's Granny, Poppy and mom, I made them ALL rub my belly and told them they needed to do it more often!
Best part? Poppy was the MOST Excited about it! I know!

Story 3, if you have the time:
As I said before, I wee'd before preching at church. Without realizing it, I found myself in the same restroom in which I'd dressed for my wedding.
Standing in the same sitting room, in front of the same mirror.
I looked at that reflection and realized how different I was from then. How graced our lives have become...and how our hearts have softened to God's blessings.

Later yesterday I realized how many things I take for granted, including this easy pregnancy I have (no matter how much I groan)...and how blessed I am to have such things and people in my life.
That's all for now. (Whew)

Oh! FACTS:
Shrine Circus is lame.
Boots are not for preggos.
LOTS of things are not for preggos.
Billy is soooo cool.
Baby kicks rule...even when they hurt.
Hip pain NOT COOL.
Next Doc appt Wed.
Birth classes April 5. Yay!
And, guess what? Billy's NOT scared! I know, I was shocked too!
:)

Kim & tigerlily

And the winner: SALSBURY STEAK!

Remember: God is so good.

Soooo, I'm eating salsbury steak for breakfast. I don't know who is cooking for Stouffers (Mama Stouffer?), but they're a GENIUS. Mmmm. And I'm highly amused that not one person thinks my eating salsbury steak for breakfast is odd. I'm at my desk, eating and most people come up and say something like, "Ooooh, salsbury steak! Yum!" Or "I loooove salsbury steak...you're so lucky!" Yes, yes I am.

Time is plodding right along. We've still got an active "Cletus" standing on my innards and I'm still able to work out somewhat (though I usually have to stop two or more times to wee) and eating alright. I have bouts of the "MUST HAVE BROWNIES NOW" emotions, but I hear that I'm just being girlie.

More frequently, I have days where I just feel like everything is wrong. Like from the inside out. I'm sure it's my ever-changing hormone crap...which is fine, I guess. I'm just riding the bull at Gilley's (as my mom says!). By God's grace I'm still on the bull and still as chipper as I can be.

Next: the CIRCUS!! Yes, yes...we will be going to the Shrine Circus to see if the evil Shriner Clowns try to get us to join their crazy cult! YAY!

Love
Kimmer & Cletus

Normal? who knows

Will be 27 weeks PG tomorrow and my babygirl moves all the time! I don't know if it's normal for a baby to move THAT much! I'm not concerned at all...I'd only be worried if I didn't feel her move.

I am not feeling as WOO HOO as I have been. I think that things will now get right into the other miserable part of pregnancy - the tiredness and aches and pains. I workout regularly now...and it usually makes me hurt for the next day or more. Hips, leg cramps, the normal stuff.

I'm also a bit more depressed than before...I really don't want to get out much unless it's just me and husband. I can't explain it at all...but being with him is top priority right now. (Besides my walk with my Lord) I really don't want to see or be seen by anyone. Difficult. The guilt is overwhelming. Gyah!

Oh and let me add that the GUILT from not wanting to get out is almost harder than the actual hiding. Being human RULES.

But I have to say, honestly, that this big, bulbous body is awesome. AWESOME. I feel strong and capable while I feel soft and vulnerable. Amazed at how this whole thing was put together, ya know? How could this be an accident? How could this not be the intricate work of a merciful, graceful God? Exactly.

My sweet husband still kicks it hotpotato style...can't get a grip on how great he really is. Whoa.

Kim & Cletusblue

For my own entertainment...

My belly button is disappearing. This is not something I considered. But seriously...what once was a hole? Is now just a dent. I've never seen inside of there. Freaky. Sheesh, I hope no other holes start vanishing.

Leg cramps bad. Bananas, GOOD!

I am one sexy mama.

Indigestion bad. Shasta GOOD!

Can pregnant women hold Garage Sales?
We're about to find out.

Preggo body GOOD...new preggo cellulite? BAD! ha.

Have overwhelming desire to watch Bugs Bunny VHS tapes all the time.
Do not be surprised if you see some on our registry.

People who mind their business about your belly? Good.
Men who know you're preggo who STILL ask, "Still gettin fatter, huh?" BAAAAD!

Sweet, sweet husband.

This is not a "toot my horn" post...but more of a "toot his horn" (oops, dirty?) post.

I have the sweetest, most precious husband ever. He is head over heels excited to be a daddy and is already wearing the daddy pants. Everything he does and thinks of has to do with his family and his coming daughter. He constantly wants to feel her kick or move...and is always talking about how we could improve our home and life to accomodate her. We just celebrated our two years by going out of town together (all three of us!!) and enjoying a last silly hoorah before the big event. I'm so amazed and humbled and thankful for this man, who I could have never pieced together with my own ideals. God has made the more-than-perfect-for-me mate and I am daily shocked that I have him! WOO!!

The weekend jaunt was soo, so much fun! We missed our puppy (heh) terribly and from what his 'grandma' says? He missed us too! Didn't know dogs could get the blues...but I guess he's just special.

Lilyblue is very active now...more active than I expected. She LOVES to tap dance or tae kwon do on mama's bladder! Yes, she does! Oh yes she does!! The other night, I was actually HURT by her ninja kicks. Cool!

Still wanting to hide out at home. I'm nesting like never before. Just call me Tweety. But I Wove my home and famiwee! Yay for famiwee!

Nothing else to say...we registered for birthing classes so that Billy can be even MORE terrified of stuff shooting out of me. BWAHAHAHAHAAA!

We love ya'll!
Kimmer & tigerlilycletus